Apologies for the Radio Silence

Hey Killers—Nat here with an update.

Things have been a little quiet over here in Killer Land—some of you may have even noticed and been wondering why.

The answer might get a little heavy, but it’s worth sharing with you all. 

Three weeks ago, my Uncle passed away unexpectedly during a hip surgery. It was sudden and shocking, and caused my family to slow down a bit to appreciate eachother a little more in the fragility of life.

Then this past Monday night, Michelle was awoken by a dull, persistent pain in her right arm. She wondered if she might be having a heart attack, but there weren’t any other symptoms, so after some googling we decided it was safe to wait until morning. 

She felt fine, so she left early with a friend for a conference in Chicago. Once they arrived in the city though, the pain came back—accompanied by clammy skin and chest tightness. I woke up to a text that she had checked into the emergency room to get checked out. 

After a few tests, they ruled out anything serious. The doctor’s best guess is that it was merely muscle soreness paired with the anxiety of thinking she was having a heart attack.

But even after she checked herself out (and went to the rest of the conference—what a champ), the fear of losing her had left me in a state of shock that was difficult to shake out of. Coming right off of the loss of my uncle, I recognized just how fragile life can be, and realized how tenuous our stability can be.

And to be completely honest, it left me incapacitated. For a few days, I was still wracked with the anxiety I felt when I got that text message. I tried to work to get my mind off of it, but it didn’t work. All I could do was wait for her to walk through our front door so I could be sure she was alright.

I’ve recovered now—yesterday was actually pretty dang productive. But the lessons of this episode are crystal clear…

Life is precious.

Don’t wait to tell someone how much they mean to you. Don’t wait to do the things you want to do. Because you truly never know what might happen. 

I don’t mean for this to be heavy handed or guilt trippy or anything like that. And truly—we’re fine. Michelle’s perfectly healthy and I’m out from under the trauma that floored me.

But I wanted to remind you to make sure you don’t take anything in this life for granted. Say what you mean. Do what you care about. Be grateful for the things you have. And for God’s sake, be true to yourself. 

Appreciate you all.

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